1. The message located inside the bottle. (See bottle for further details...)
cap'n: *yells at the dumb e-tards across the lake* there is a message *pause* in the bottle!!!
cap'n :*continues to yell* there is a message in the bottle!!!
cap'n :*continues to yell* are you even listening to me?!?!?!
cap'n :*continues to yell * there is an effing message in the effing bottle you dumb fugs!!!
everyone on shore with the cap'n: hahahahahahahhahahahahahaha!!!! omfg!!! *rolls around laughing*